Spoiled Royal
by Aimzy-chan
Summary: Aragorn's unruly daughter is sent to Riverndell to be cared for by Elrond. Um.. I think it's comedy! R & R guys!! *Completed! Yay!*
1. Prologue

N.B. Hello guys! Here is my very, very first LOTR fanfic, so flame if you want to!! And no, unfortunately I do NOT own Aragorn, Arwen, Elrond, Gimli, Frodo, Elrohir and Elladad, but I DO own Ethriel. Mwahahaha.  
  
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Prologue – A child is born.  
  
  
  
Once in the far reaches of middle earth lived King Elessar, once Aragorn son of Estel by Elrond Arathorn called Lord of Rivendell, Strider by the hobbits and also Dunadan but the author will refrain from including his many other names and this isn't what the story is about, and his queen, Arwen Evenstar, daughter of Elrond, Lord of Rivendell. And because the author wants to make the readers of this go "Oooo" and "Aaaah" she's going to add in that ever so wonderful phrase: Today was an important day. They were celebrating the birth of their daughter Ethriel Paigelyn Smileyface, Princess of Gondor. The court gathered around the cradle to peer in at the small, sleeping princess, in true fairytale style.  
  
"Awwwww," Cooed the court until sleeping princess was sleeping no more. A shrill cry sounded through the halls of the castle, making the whole court deaf for a week.  
  
  
  
After a week of Ethriel's shrill screaming in the wee hours of the morning Arwen and Elessar of too many names decided on a plan of action. Arwen, since loosing her immortality, found out what it was to experience pain and fatigue.  
  
"Must... do... something..." Arwen sobbed. And for the sappiness of it all, Elessar gave his wife a big, manly hug.  
  
"Poor Arwie-kins..." Elessar soothed. Arwen drew away from the hug as quickly as possible upon hearing this.  
  
"Estel, what the @#$% would you know?!?!" She yelled. "You don't have to deal with a screaming child and an ongoing migraine! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BREASTFEED DAMNIT!" Elessar suddenly went from being strong and manly to a hen pecked mummy's boy at Arwen's yelling.  
  
"Arwie-kins, sweetheart, honey, darling, calm down," Elessar whimpered. "There's always Rivendell!"  
  
Arwen stopped getting agro. "True," she replied. "That's not such a bad idea. I mean you were raised in Rivendell by Daddy... But then again..."  
  
"Hey!" Elessar protested.  
  
Arwen sent him a chilling glare. He shrank away.  
  
"R-r-Rivendell it is!" he stammered. For a man, Arwen's death stares seemed to scare him.  
  
Arwen's eyes softened and for kicks, lets add a nice sappy confession. "I hoped we didn't have to do this but now it is up to my father and brothers to raise her. She will just fail living here. She reminds me of myself."  
  
  
  
"WHAT?!?!" Elrond spluttered. "Oh no. No no NO!! I do NOT think I am capable of handling ANOTHER Aragorn!! He did my head in years ago!!" His breathing became tight. "I... am... over.... 4... thousand... years... OLD!!"  
  
"We understand sir," Replied Lindir ruefully. "But think of your poor little Arwen bearing the burden of a child."  
  
Elrond's eyes became dreamy. "I remember when she was a baby in my arms... and what a lovely young woman she grew into" He murmured. Suddenly he snapped out of his dream. "Well I told her NOT to!! But nooo she had to go and GIVE UP her immortality and MARRY him!! And now she complains her child is giving her a migraine!! Geez!!" The council of Elrond eyed him strangely and the room was silent until Frodo, the former ring bearer of the One Ring who eventually destroyed it stepped forward. Frodo resided in Rivendell after the Ring was destroyed and found it lonely now his cousin Bilbo was dead and the 3 other hobbit companions had returned to the Shire.  
  
He moved his eyes toward Elrond. "Elrond?" He asked.  
  
"Frodo stop LOOKING at me that way," Elrond commanded. "Your eyes are just TOO freaky. And yes I know you're upset about Sam dumping you for Rosie but I will NOT go out with you." The whole council stared wide eyed at the two and Frodo's own eyes filled with tears until the author politely reminded them there was the small matter of Ethriel at stake. Frodo's tears quickly disappeared.  
  
"Elrond have a heart," Frodo said sternly. "I will look after her if need be. It's so lonely without Bilbo and the hobbits."  
  
"We know, " Muttered Elrond and his council. Frodo conveniently ignored them.  
  
"I'll share baby sitting duties," Frodo said meekly. The council stared at him with surprise.  
  
"Frodo," Elrond said sternly. "My granddaughter just happens to be a mixture of human and elf. Humans and elves usually outgrow hobbits! What will happen when she outgrows you?"  
  
"Ah Elrond," Cut in Gimli, son of Gloin. "Ye seem to know little about children. Once Ethriel becomes taller than Frodo here, she will be able to look after herself!"  
  
"And if she cannot we shall take up duties," Elrohir and Elladad, Arwen's brothers chimed in.  
  
"Oh ALL RIGHT," Elrond sighed, giving in. "It is decided. Princess Ethriel will take up residence at Rivendell."  
  
  
  
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	2. Growing

Hello again!! Shows how bored I am. Download... going... so... slow... Here's the second chapter of this fanfic thing and no I don't own LOTR (duh no kidding) but I do own Ethriel.  
  
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1 Chapter 1: Growing  
  
  
  
Years passed swiftly in Rivendell, says the author adding this in for extra effect. Ethriel was 9 years old and still a hellion. Ethriel Smileyface had outgrown Frodo easily by at least ten centimetres and Frodo, once again felt like the short hobbit he had been before Ethriel arrived. Now Ethriel could escape the horrible torture of old fogie nostalgia! Not that she had tried to do so of course. It took Elrond awhile to realise this until one day Ethriel quietly walked into his chambers.  
  
"Grandpapa," she said sweetly. "I am very sick of hearing Frodo's stories about the war of the ring." Elrond made no response. "Grandpapa?" Still nothhing. "GRANDFATHER ELROND!! IF I HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT THE WAR OF THE RING ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KILL MYSELF!" Elrond turned and took the earplugs out of his ears.  
  
"What was that Ethriel sweetheart?" He asked. "I wasn't listening."  
  
"I'm taller than Frodo Baggins," She simpered sweetly.  
  
"You can't be Ethriel. You're what, five?"  
  
"I'm nine," Ethriel corrected.  
  
"That's right," Elrond replied. "You've grown up so fast."  
  
"True," Ethriel said. "But can you take me out of his care Granddaddy?" Ethriel convincingly sniffed sadly. "I need proper care."  
  
Of course Elrond thought. Why don't you go back to Gondor  
  
"Grandfather?" Ethriel tapped her grandfather  
  
"Oh sorry Ethriel," Elrond said manufacturing a smile. "By the bye your mother and father are coming to visit tonight."  
  
Ethriel's face lit up. "Really Grandpapa?" Ethriel always liked seeing her parents. Uncle Elrohir explained to Ethriel that they were busy, and the palace in Gondor was no place for a child so she was sent to Rivendell. Ethriel accepted this.  
  
"Yes Ethriel," He answered. "Really."  
  
"Oh goody!" She chorused, and bounded elf fashion from the room.  
  
  
  
Frodo was asleep in his chair by the waterfall at Rivendell.  
  
"Mister FRODO!" Ethriel yelled in his ear.  
  
Frodo jumped. "What? Sam? Huh?" Two piercing blue eyes stared back at him. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
"Mummy and Daddy are coming tonight!" She chirped.  
  
"You scared me!" Frodo whimpered.  
  
"Sorry Mister Frodo Sir," Ethriel said all too innocently.  
  
"You say your father is coming?" Frodo said. "How nice."  
  
"You're friends with Daddy weren't you Mister Frodo?" Ethriel asked sweetly.  
  
"Why yes Ethriel," Frodo said all knowingly. "It was when we were going to drop the One Ring into the cracks of Mount Doom when-"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Ethriel cried running away. Frodo chuckled. He knew how to make Ethriel flee at the best of times. This was one of the good things about being himself. He was so freakish even in old age that he could still scare the living daylights out of anyone who happened to cross his path (AN sorry to all Frodo fans out there. He was ok in the book but in the movie he gave me nightmares. Besides, he's like 70 something in this story. He's allowed to be somewhat frightening!). Frodo closed his eyes and went back to sleep allowing himself to dream, mainly about Sam.  
  
  
  
Anyway moving on. Elessar who has way too many names jumped down from his quote "glorious white horse" unquote into Rivendell, his second home. *sigh*. Sappy moment aside, a shrill shriek pierced the air. Elessar only saw a black and white blur whom attached to his legs.  
  
"DADDY!!" It cried. He suddenly realised who it was. It was his daughter Ethriel. Over the years he and Arwen had gotten used to the serene silence of the palace without shrill shrieks. But once in awhile he had to put up with it to put up with his own flesh and blood, because as we all know, a certain bratty nine year old called Ethriel Paigelin Smileyface was no picnic to live with even for the calmest of elves (i.e. Elrond).  
  
"Um hello Ethriel," Mumbled Elessar who has way too many names peeling his daughter away from his legs.  
  
"When's Mummy coming?" Ethriel chirped. Now for purposes of sappy surprise the author enters Arwen.  
  
"I'm here now, Ethriel," Arwen said and because she's still mostly elf despite the mortal thing, she hopped down from her horse with easy grace.  
  
"MUMMY!!!" Ethriel cried again, louder than she had for Elessar who has way too many names. So a predictable group hug followed and they walked to the House of Elrond as Ethriel, who suddenly developed a severe case of verbal diarrhoea, talked non stop all the way.  
  
  
  
The feast that evening was spectacular, but Ethriel sat stubbornly in her room as being to young she wasn't allowed to go.  
  
"Wait until you're older," Everyone said. Ethriel kicked the wall but suddenly remembered. If they were having fun at the dinner, they wouldn't notice if she climbed out the window and went off by herself. She reached for her outdoor clothes, a pair of breeches, blouse, light shoes and a cloak. Since the window wasn't very far from the ground she had no trouble climbing out of it and on to the ground. That will fix them Ethriel thought. She walked along quiet paths to her favourite tree, meaning to climb it. Suddenly someone swung down from the tree. Ethriel screamed and fell over. The person giggled.  
  
"Oooo you little minion," Ethriel muttered.  
  
"Hello," it said. Ethriel looked up to see it was a girl. And it wasn't just any girl. It just HAPPENED (for purposes of the plot) Legolas's sister Mirawyn.  
  
"Why did you SCARE me like that?" Ethriel flared.  
  
"Sorry," The girl said ruefully. "You're Princess Ethriel Paigelin Smileyface aren't you?"  
  
"Unfortunately," Ethriel replied gloomily. "Who are you?"  
  
The girl puffed with pride. "I am Mirawyn, daughter of Thraduil, sister of Legolas Greenleaf."  
  
"Who?" Ethriel said, confused.  
  
"Legolas Greenleaf is a the Prince of Mirkwood silly," Mirawyn replied in a know it all tone. "For a princess you don't know much."  
  
"I know how to speak every tongue in Middle Earth," Ethriel shot back. "I am the Great Granddaughter of Galadriel of Lothlorien, Lady of the Wood, Granddaughter of Elrond, Lord of Rivendell, and daughter of King Elessar of Gondor and Arwen Evenstar so there."  
  
"Duh," Said Mirawyn. "Do you really know every tongue in Middle Earth?"  
  
"Uh huh," Ethriel replied.  
  
"Cool," remarked Mirawyn. "So why aren't you at this party thing with old Elrond?"  
  
"Mummy and Daddy say I'm still too young," Replied Ethriel.  
  
"Really? Me too!" Mirawyn exclaimed ecstatically, then in an equally ecstatic voice, because Mirawyn is supposedly on prozac said "Lets be friends!"  
  
"I've never had a friend before," Ethriel said.  
  
"Me either," Mirawyn giggled.  
  
And since this story is super predictable, Mirawyn and Ethriel stayed friends for a very long time.  
  
  
  
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Right. You're probably sitting here thinking "Oh my god this girl's a psychopath!". But if you're not thinking that, PLEASE review!! I love reviews!! Chapter 3 should be up soon, I'll do it this weekend, promise!! Toodles!!  
  
P.S. Here's the most interesting fact of the day, did you know that Arwen is 2690 years older than Aragorn????? That's so scary *shudder*.... 


	3. The Teenage Years

Hello!! Me again. My net is doing weird stuff and it's getting on my nerves. *bashes modem with a stick* This can't be fair!! Well enough of that. This is going to be a really short chapter, because there's not a LOT to say!! It's really a bit of a filler, so skip this chapter if you want!! DISCLAIMER: I do own Ethriel and Mirawyn, but unfortunately I do not own Mirawyn's brother (although I'd LIKE to, Legolas and the guy who plays him in LOTR are really, REALLY hot.) or the rest of the characters or LOTR or Middle Earth for that matter.  
  
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1 The teenage years *gasp*  
  
1.1 Ethriel said goodbye to more years in Rivendell, 6 to be exact. She was now fifteen. Elrohir had taken her in and she finally got to see Middle Earth. She had been to Minas Tirith and Gondor, the Shire, Bree, Lorien but still she was yet to see Mirkwood and the author hates to say this once more but it's for PURPOSES OF THE PLOT, to be revealed in due course. Now of course she was back at Rivendell and she was ecstatic because Mirawyn was coming to visit. In fact, Ethriel was sitting in her room now, waiting for Mirawyn to arrive. Suddenly there was a white horse with Mirawyn on it.  
  
"Like, OH MY GOD!!" Ethriel screamed.  
  
"Like, OH MY GOD!!" Mirawyn screamed back. Ethriel ran out of her room almost bowling over Elrond who was with a strange looking wizard guy.  
  
1.2 "Be... Careful... Ethriel," Elrond wheezed. Ethriel ignored him and, because Ethriel and Mirawyn are both ditzy at heart, they both gave each other a hug, still screaming their heads off.  
  
1.3 "Elrond, is this what teenage girls always do?" Asked the strange looking wizard guy, hereby referred to as Gandalf.  
  
1.4 "Unfortunately Gandalf," Elrond replied. "It's the age. Say do you have any pipe weed handy?"  
  
"Of course my friend," Said Gandalf, handing Elrond a tinny, as the author is certain pipe weed is the Middle Earth equivalent to Marijuana. "Enjoy."  
  
1.5 "So spill Girlfriend!" Mirawyn squealed sitting opposite Ethriel on her pink blanket in her pink room. "What's been up in Rivendell lately?"  
  
"Like NOTHING!" Ethriel complained. "Except for some weird wizard dude coming called Gandalf."  
  
"Totally boring!" Replied Mirawyn.  
  
"So what's been up in Mirkwood Sista?" Ethriel asked.  
  
"My brother may have a girlfriend," Mirawyn replied lowering her voice. "He's been getting pretty cosy with Bethinil lately, but I so don't like her. Her nails UGH!"  
  
"Bethinil?" Ethriel gasped. "Like no way! She's so ugly!"  
  
"Like I know!" Mirawyn replied.  
  
"Like oh my god!" Ethriel cried.  
  
"Like oh my god!" Mirawyn cried as well, for effect. "It's like so sad!"  
  
"Hun I so know how you feel!" Ethriel squealed, in a really high pitched tone. Mirawyn, being blonde didn't seem to mind. "If my brother did that, oh my god, I'd KILL him!"  
  
"I've tried but I like can't! He's IMMORTAL!" Mirawyn protested fanning her face with her hands as tears were forming in her big blue eyes.  
  
"Awwwww big hug!" Ethriel cooed and embraced her friend tightly. Mirawyn enthusiastically hugged back sobbing melodramatic sobs.  
  
"I hate Legolas," Mirawyn mumbled through tears.  
  
"I know, boys like suck!" Ethriel proclaimed indignantly.  
  
"I know!" Mirawyn whimpered.  
  
"Like oh my god!" Ethriel said. AGAIN.  
  
"Like oh my god!" Mirawyn replied. AGAIN. And since the author can't think of anything else to say and besides this "Oh my god" thing is getting really irritating.  
  
  
  
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Right that was super weird. Don't worry, the next chapter's going to be far better. Like R&R I WANT YOUR OPINIONS. So I can improve and you won't have to think I'm nuts next time you read one of my fics.  
  
Next time: We enter Ethriel's love interest. Come on this story is supposed to be really cheesy. You all can GUESS who he is. Duh. Anyway that's it from me.  
  
Stay tuned. 


	4. Entering LEGOLAS!!!

Once again I update the cheesy story that is my own. I'd really love you if you gave me a review!! Send one. Click on the long, blue button. I know you want to. Anyway here's the fourth part of my pathetic attempts at writing.  
  
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Entering LEGOLAS!!!  
  
  
  
Once again, we see Ethriel matured once more. Now eighteen, the author decided she needed a love interest. And what better to add to the cheesy- ness of this story than entering the gallant Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood to fall head over heels for our "heroine" as hey, he would probably have to be the hottest elf in Middle Earth and the author is really sick of him just HAPPENING to fall in love with Aragorn and Boromir because you have to admit, you don't get to have as much fun or creativity putting him with a guy unless you have a sick, sick mind. ANYWAY. Let the games begin.  
  
  
  
Ethriel was eighteen and finally maturing. Somehow, she had gone from ditzy teenager to wise adult. Most elves and me in Middle Earth were after here. No. Rephrase that. ALL elves and men across Middle Earth were after here. Some were after her because her beauty had captured their heart. Some were after her to tame her wild spirit. But most were after her because it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to screw a Princess of Gondor. In fact the only elf in Middle Earth who wasn't after her was Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood and that was because conveniently, for purposes of the plot, he hadn't met her yet. But he was about to. Ethriel sat with her bow and arrows high up in a tree. As well as looking like a super model, she could shoot arrows like nobody's business. Some people get all the luck. She stared down at the ground looking for targets. Suddenly a man with blonde hair came riding gallantly through the forest. Cue trumpet music please as the elf just happened to be Legolas Greenleaf *gasp* !! Of course, Ethriel didn't realise this, as she hadn't met him. She, of course, was on Red Alert. Jumping down gracefully from her spot in the trees she drew her sword and pointed it to his neck because conveniently it just HAPPENED to be that time of the month for Ethriel.  
  
"What the @$%^ are you doing on Rivendell soil?!" She flared.  
  
"Um, um..." Stammered the elf.  
  
"Calm down Ethriel, it's only my brother Legolas," Said Mirawyn "conveniently" appearing out of nowhere. And because it was that time of the month, Ethriel burst into tears.  
  
"He scared me Mirawyn," Ethriel sobbed. "He SCARED me!" Mirawyn gave her friend a hug.  
  
"Mirawyn?" Asked Legolas. "Who is this?"  
  
"Ethriel, daughter of Aragorn," Mirawyn replied. And, on the mention of Aragorn's name (oh please, the author knows what you're thinking. DON'T THINK IT) Legolas's face lit up.  
  
"Estel's daughter!" He cried happily. "I should have guessed! I'm sorry fair lady, I didn't mean to scare you." Ethriel sobbed harder.  
  
'Legolas, leave her,' Mirawyn said in Elvish. Mirawyn put an arm around Ethriel's shoulders guiding her back to Rivendell.  
  
  
  
Legolas sat on the bed. He was miserable for purposes of the plot. He really didn't want to upset Aragorn's daughter. He found her attractive. All males, men and elves found Ethriel attractive. And he had to find her attractive for purposes of the plot. There was a quiet knock on his door. Mirawyn glided in gracefully.  
  
"How's Ethriel?" he asked quickly for added cheesy-ness.  
  
"Upset," Mirawyn replied. "It's that time of the month." Legolas quickly blushed, then as quickly as he blushed, he paled.  
  
"Oh no," Legolas mumbled. "No no no." For years, Legolas had had to put up with this from his sister. He dreaded to think what Aragorn's daughter was like at that time of the month.  
  
"Look. Leggy," Said Mirawyn. "Just keep out of her way sweetie and you'll be fine." Suddenly an awful smell drifted up Mirawyn's delicate notrils. "Um... Why don't you take a bath? We've just rode from Mirkwood to Rivendell. And Rivendell's renowned for it's strawberry bath suds." (A/N secret joke between the author and her friends while they were writing the diaries of LOTR characters. She is still trying to pinch the ones her friends wrote so she can post them here)  
  
Legolas looked at his sister. "So you're saying I smell."  
  
"No, not exactly..." She said, squirming uncomfortably. Legolas looked at her suspiciously. And since every boy has to have a pretty boy moment, Legolas replied with:  
  
"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! I'm off to have a bath!!"  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Ethriel sat in the water of her bath glad to have a moment to herself. Everyone was driving her crazy, except Mirawyn of course. The water was just so relaxing, and so invigorating. Ethriel felt complacent in her solitary moment and now, the author is about to ruin it. The door opened and in walked Legolas unnoticed until he started whistling a merry tune. Ethriel turned angrily to see who her intruded was to see... LEGOLAS. Naked, except for a big fluffy Rivendell towel. (Ok, rabid fan girls, CALM DOWN. He's not going to take off the towel!!) Ethriel screamed. Legolas screamed to add to the shock of the moment only to realise he was an elf, he was used to this. Ethriel emerged from the bath in lightening speed grabbing a towel of her own, an even fluffier towel coloured pink, to be exact to wrap around herself.  
  
"Get out of here!" she shrieked angrily before cursing in every single language from Rivendell to Lothlorien. Legolas stayed glued to the spot somewhat shocked, somewhat amused. Ethriel ran out in a huff.  
  
  
  
**************************************************************************** ************Ok I am seriously thinking of putting up the rating here, I don't think anything rated G would show a hot elf only clad in a towel!! Sorry for it being so short this time and sorry rabid fan girls, I doubt Legolas will be appearing naked again. So stop fantasising about Legolas and stop reading fanfics like mine which are probably wasting your time. Well got to go, things to do. Toodles noodles!!! 


	5. Ethriel and Legolas's issues with each o...

All right. That's it. Someone at FF.net has totally butchered the third chapter of my story. I'm going to replace it with some new text ok? Don't worry if you find it weird. Anyway Queenofthecomputer thanks a lot for pointing out some errors, I wasn't sure about Rivendell being spelt without a second r so I checked my copy of Fellowship of the Ring and you were right so thanks for pointing it out!! Something went a bit wrong. I'm going to have to fix the third chapter, and it's going to be down for like oh two minutes!! But it shall be fixed. Don't worry!! Now for the disclaimer. I don't own Legolas (yes I wish I did) or anyone else from LOTR, but I do own Mirawyn and Ethriel.  
  
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1 Ethriel and Legolas's issues with one another  
  
  
  
No years passed in Rivendell, only small hours in which Legolas agonised over Ethriel's disgusted reaction. Of course she was mortal but he didn't expect THAT reaction.  
  
"Legolas!" Someone called. Legolas quickly buttoned his shirt. He suddenly didn't want to anyone to see him with his shirt off. To his relief, the person calling him was Mirawyn.  
  
"So you saw her unclothed," Mirawyn sighed, shaking her head. "Tsk tsk, Legolas, you're so naughty."  
  
"Good afternoon to you too Mirawyn," Legolas mumbled.  
  
"You'll never be on her good side if you keep upsetting her," Mirawyn giggled. "But a huge bundle of flowers and a huge apology will do."  
  
"I don't want to be reminded," He replied, blushing.  
  
"Sure, sure," Mirawyn teased. "I know you too well. You want to hug her..."  
  
"Mirawyn!"  
  
"You want to kiss her..."  
  
"Mirawyn!!"  
  
"You want to date her..."  
  
"MIRAWYN!!!"  
  
"What???"  
  
  
  
Ethriel paced her room restlessly, wishing she could get her sword and slaughter Legolas. How dare he walk in on her like that?! Unfortunately he had to for purposes of-  
  
"Oh shut UP!!" Ethriel yelled at the author. The author obeyed. It was then that Arwen walked in, for the added mother/daughter moment, as every story has to have a mother/daughter moment  
  
"Hello Sweetheart," She greeted Ethriel in her usual sing song voice. "Please stop pacing, you'll wear out the floor." Ethriel sighed and sat down on the bed.  
  
"I'm NOT having a good day," Ethriel growled, stating the blatantly obvious to her mother.  
  
"I figured," Arwen replied. "I heard about a certain elf catching you bathing."  
  
"That's what I hate about Rivendell," Ethriel muttered. "Word travels so fast."  
  
"I'm just wondering why you had such a reaction to him," Arwen said calmly. "You know I used to have a thing for Legolas when I was younger." Ethriel looked at her mother in utter disgust. "Just don't tell your father."  
  
"Mother how COULD you?" Ethriel breathed. To think of Arwen having any other crushes on anyone BUT her father scared her.  
  
"Oh darling!" Arwen cried. "I don't have a thing for him now! It was before I met your father. I am 2690 years older than Elessar you realise."  
  
Ethriel face faulted. "Mum, I'm going to GO now leaving you to your very sick fantasies." She said cautiously making a quick exit toward the door. For purposes of the plot, she needed to talk to Mirawyn. Now would be good. And conveniently, Mirawyn was alone in her room.  
  
"Ethriel!" Mirawyn exclaimed, happy to see her friend. Too happy to see her friend the author might add. "What's this I hear about you spotting my brother naked but for a towel? Hmmm?"  
  
"Don't REMIND me. Oh god Mirawyn, just DON'T remind me," Muttered Ethriel turning red with every syllable she spoke on the subject.  
  
Mirawyn grinned. She could have fun with this "Ok, ok, calm down."  
  
"I am not having a good day," Ethriel sighed, for the typical understatement that is an essential part of all stories. "I have just realised for the first time that I do not want to go to Gondor. EVER. My parents are nutcases."  
  
"Maybe you can get married to Legolas," Mirawyn teased. "Then you could move to Mirkwood."  
  
"Ha ha," Ethriel said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Thanks a hell of a LOT for being so TACTFUL." And thanks to hormonal mood swings, tears began forming in Ethriel's eyes. She fanned her face with her hands to stop them from falling down her cheeks, Hollywood I've-just-won-an-Oscar!! style.  
  
"Sweetie!" Mirawyn squealed. "I'm sorry! Come here!" She gave her friend a hug. It was then that Legolas walked through with diligent elf grace through the door unheard, but not unseen, by Mirawyn of course. After giving him several urgent death stares Legolas decided it wouldn't be a good time to intrude. Good boy. He walked down the halls wondering why Mirawyn was in tears. AGAIN.  
  
"Sir," said a voice from beside him. It was a lowly Rivendell messenger. "King Elessar of Gondor requests an audience with you. Oh by the bye, you don't happen to know where Princess Ethriel is do you?"  
  
"With my sister Mirawyn," Legolas replied.  
  
"Thank you sir," Said the messenger. "Bye!"  
  
  
  
Ethriel tottered after her father wondering why he wanted to see her. He had requested she'd change, for purposes of the plot, into a long, floaty dress. She was having a hard time trying not to trip over the hem in new god awful medieval platform shoes. He burst into a marble room. Hell. Rivendell's famous for them. And of course strawberry bath suds.  
  
"Ah Legolas!" Her father cried out.  
  
"WHAT?!" She spluttered. "Legolas?!" She made a quick exit to the door only to find it had been closed. Bugger...  
  
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Well, cliffhanger. My first cliffhanger!! Yay!! I feel so special!! Anyway sorry for the bad chapter, it's just another fill in... I guess... hopefully I'll be able to find something more to write about. 


	6. Aragorn did WHAT?!?!

*shiver* @#$%ing hell!! It's REALLY cold!! I'm freezing my @$$ off here!! Unfortunately it's like almost WINTER here where I live being New Zealand being in the Southern Hemisphere to be exact. I'm wrapped in a huge duvet and I'm meant to be doing my French homework... none the less I have gotten truly bored so I'm going to write this instead. Oh yes to all Legolas fans reading this. Sarah, all that is evil, said that Orlando Bloom (The guy who plays Legolas, and is my favourite actor) said he was ugly. I mean come on!! Anyway. Disclaimer: No I don't own Legolas (again, I WISH I DID! Then he could kill Sarah for me) or any of the LOTR characters. But I do own Ethriel and Mirawyn blah blah blah etc etc etc  
  
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Aragorn did WHAT?!?!?  
  
  
  
So once again we tour to the place where our last chapter ended. Ethriel and Legolas were in a marble room at Rivendell with Elessar aka Aragorn of way too many names. Unfortunately they had to stay there. The doors had been sealed.  
  
"Ethriel!" Elessar boomed, purple faced complete angry veins sticking out of his neck.  
  
"Oh no," Ethriel muttered incoherently. Ethriel stood staring at the floor as staring at Legolas made her turn a tomato red colour which, as well as making her father's mind start working on about what might have happened between the elf and his daughter, it didn't really match the pink dress she was wearing. Her father suddenly calmed down.  
  
"Legolas," Elessar said pleasantly. "I don't believe you've met my daughter Ethriel."  
  
Legolas paled. "Um..." He stammered.  
  
"So like THAT'S ALL?" Ethriel burst out, to her regret.  
  
"What do you mean Ethriel?" Asked her father, slightly amused.  
  
Now, it was Ethriel's time to go white as a sheet. "Never mind."  
  
"Is there something I don't know?" Elessar of way too many names wanted to know.  
  
"Oh no," Ethriel and Legolas said together with all innocence. Both knew that Elessar was a protective father, for purposes of the plot. He would murder both Legolas and his daughter if he knew about the bath hall incident. It was either that or instant marriage.  
  
"Well Ethriel," Said Elessar. "No that's not all. Years and years ago, Legolas and I made a pact. Ok, so it was over a couple of pints... but anyway. Legolas was complaining about spending the eternal ages alone etc and very tearful I might add."  
  
"I wasn't!" Legolas cried in disbelief. "When was this Estel??"  
  
"So I said I'd let him marry my first daughter if she wasn't betrothed by seventeen," Elessar finished.  
  
"WHAT?!" Ethriel shrieked. "FATHER!!! You said you hadn't... I didn't want to... Dad, I asked for a non-arranged marriage!!"  
  
"Whoops..." Mumbled Elessar.  
  
"Well for a start I'M NOT MARRYING HIM!!" Ethriel shrieked. "Ok, I've seen him half naked, and he's seen me barely clad but I'm still not marrying him!! No no no no no no no!!"  
  
"Wait, you've seen my daughter barely CLAD?!" Elessar barked. "And you didn't tell me?" his voice sounded hurt. "I thought you told me everything Legolas!" Elessar started to cry because of countless psychiatrist sessions of constant 'You must let out your feelings Aragorn,' had unfortunately, to the horror of the author and all readers present, had taught him to cry really badly. (Why Elessar/Aragorn was driven to psychiatric help is unknown as such, but the rumoured cause is Elrond's severe... um... tantrum over Elessar/Aragorn dating his "little girl"). However, Ethriel was having a tantrum of her own... in some sort of mix of Elvish and the language of Mordor. This was a job for the author, but unfortunately, this doesn't specify in her job description so she calls on the help of... Arwen!! And... Mirawyn!! Who at that very moment conveniently appear through the back entrance, for purposes of the plot of course.  
  
"Mother! Mirawyn!" Gasped Ethriel. "What are you DOING here???"  
  
"Well..." Began Mirawyn. "Arwen was having a midlife crisis and I couldn't find you... And I heard exaggerated yelling in all the tongues from here to the Shire so I figured it must be you, so I followed my ears."  
  
"I just realised," Arwen cried. "You've been having psychiatrist sessions!"  
  
"I can explain!" Elessar exclaimed. "It was Elrond! ELROND! He... threw a hissy fit over our relationship, Arwen! It scarred me for life!"  
  
"Father, not only that, but you'll have to explain my ARRANGED marriage to LEGOLAS, a boy I have serious ISSUES with right now, when you promised my marriage wasn't going to be arranged!" Ethriel whined.  
  
"He arranged your marriage, Legolas?!" Mirawyn squeaked. "Ahem, dear brother, when did this happen and were you going to tell me?" Legolas couldn't answer. His head was in his hands.  
  
  
  
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Yes. Done, finally. It probably sucks, but hey. Oh man, I'm STARVING. I've just been shopping for my outfit for the dance tonight which looks so pretty!! Yay. Anyway, must go, dinner is here! Toodles! 


	7. Unnecessary Sapiness

Part seven!! Yay!! It's the night after the dance and I feel really crushed and horrible so I'm going to write this chapter to cheer me up, as Ethriel seems to put a smile on my face and I'm just too tempted to get the Pinky Bar out of the fridge and eat it. Anyway my friend Melanie read this and asked me to mention more about strawberry bath suds. Mainly because she's nuts, and it's a personal joke between my friends and myself. But anyway, without further ado, here it is! Disclaimer: Again, I wish I owned Legolas but I don't, and that goes for all LOTR characters, but Ethriel and Mirawyn are ALL MINE! Bwahahaha.  
  
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1 Unnecessary Sappiness  
  
  
  
Ethriel and Legolas had been conveniently avoiding each other since Aragorn's um... announcement, for purposes of the plot and because they both needed time to sort out further issues like the fact that Ethriel, despite seeing Legolas half naked, still didn't like him. Well in THAT WAY anyway. Ethriel was still in a bad mood, despite using a good two tonnes of strawberry bath suds in her baths that week, after making sure Elrond put guards at the door to stop intruders (i.e. Legolas) coming in and interrupting. Elrond of course wasn't happy with his granddaughter using his strawberry bath suds, as he now had very little strawberry bath suds. Ethriel was so hurt she didn't realise, and Elrond conveniently decided this wasn't like his granddaughter at all, well, at the age she was at now anyway. So Elrond decided to say something to his granddaughter. He went in search of her to find her sitting in a tree.  
  
"Ethriel!" He called. Ethriel turned.  
  
"Oh hey Pop," Ethriel replied, manufacturing a smile.  
  
"Can you come down from there?" Elrond asked as he had "borrowed" Arwen's old purple dress for the day for reasons the author is not going to mention except for that his robes were dirty and he already smelt enough already without his strawberry bath suds and found it very hard to climb trees. To his relief, Ethriel swung down from the tree gracefully until of course she tripped over the roots at the base of it falling on her face. She did her trademark swearing in all Middle Earth languages. Elrond looked at her in surprise. Since when did she learn so many bad words in so many languages?! Ethriel saw her grandfather's shock and closed her mouth very, very quickly.  
  
"I didn't say anything," Ethriel babbled. "Not a thing. Not a word. You didn't hear it."  
  
Elrond straightened. "I have collective hearing. It comes with age."  
  
"Why are you here anyway?" Ethriel asked, quickly changing the subject while the author suddenly decides that Elrond should be in on the act of the marriage saga.  
  
"You seem troubled," Elrond said gently. Ethriel shuddered at Elrond's freakish voice.  
  
"Um... I'm fine," Ethriel lied. "I'm fine. Really, really fine."  
  
"Then why have my strawberry bath suds disappeared?" Elrond wanted to know suspiciously. "I wasn't born yesterday."  
  
"Duh," Ethriel replied. "I know THAT. You were born like 4000 years ago why the HELL would I think you were born yesterday?" Ethriel stood with a sneer on her face until the author told her it was a phrase and that she was supposed to be acting guiltily. "Uh... well I'm fine."  
  
"Are you sure?" Elrond inquired leaning closer toward her. Ethriel could smell his rather nasty bodily odour. She couldn't stand it any more and broke down into a flood of tears.  
  
"I'm not fine!" she sobbed. "Mum and Dad are agreeing to make me marry Legolas!"  
  
"What that Mirkwood prince guy?" Elrond asked. "Well he is rather hot if I don't say so my-" He coughed on seeing Ethriel's shocked stare. "Ahem. Well. I mean, he's suitable marriage material. What is your problem with him?"  
  
"He's a prick," Ethriel remarked bluntly.  
  
"Um..." Said Elrond, at a loss for words for once. He suddenly thought of something. "Anything else?"  
  
"He caught me in the bath," She added. "It was awful."  
  
"He WHAT?!?!" Elrond spluttered. "Well that's decided. You'll have to marry him now you've seen him naked.  
  
"But-"  
  
"No buts Ethriel! You're marrying him and that's final!" Ethriel began to cry again. "I'm sorry Ethriel, it's just inappropriate if you don't."  
  
"You're so much help Grandfather!" She sobbed melodramatically and walked away.  
  
"My granddaughter... still a drama queen," Elrond muttered. Ethriel turned.  
  
"I heard that!" she called back.  
  
  
  
Ethriel went to the archery field, which as far away from possible from Elrond, taking with her a quiver filled with arrows and a bow, to shoot anyone who crossed her path. She shot targets to release her stress imagining they were the following things:  
  
1. Legolas  
  
2. Her father's head.  
  
3. And Frodo's freaky blue eyes, for the irony of it all  
  
Which, of course, for purposes of the plot, made her feel much, much better. Meanwhile, our favourite elf Prince, Legolas, was prancing through the trees with that cool Elvish step that the author isn't going to relate a whole lot of really bad similes with, no matter how much she wants to. And for purposes of the plot he stopped on the tree above where Ethriel was shooting arrows. He jumped down from the tree unheard and unnoticed (well for all of about two minutes) to admire the view in front of him, which was, for purposes of the plot, Ethriel. Suddenly a whole lot of really bad similes also ran through his head like how her hair shone like sunshine or how her skin was like virgin snow blah blah blah etc etc etc. A twig cracked between his feet and the curses that ran through his head were much worse than the similes. Ethriel turned very quickly and her quick reaction time caused her to shoot right at Legolas.... and for purposes of the plot, he dodged it.  
  
"Oh my god!" she squealed. "I'm sorry!" Realising it was Legolas she added: "Oh it's you, well that's ok then."  
  
"Well..." Legolas began, not sure of what to say. "You grazed my leg!" He looked at her for sympathy hoping she wouldn't know that elves don't get hurt.  
  
"Elves don't get hurt," She said like she had read his mind.  
  
Damn! Thought Legolas, disappointed he hadn't got a sympathy vote. Conveniently Ethriel looked up into Legolas' gorgeous face, surprised to find she found it gorgeous instead of something resembling the every day orc. Not that Legolas could ever resemble an orc of course to the author, to her, he's just way too hot. Unfortunately, Ethriel doesn't quite see it this way. Yet. About thirty seconds later she was having similar thoughts to the author, again in REALLY bad simile form like his hair was the colour of gold and his eyes sparkling like sapphires etc etc etc blah blah blah. The forest was shrouded in silence, for a good 10 minutes as Legolas and Ethriel stared at each other while the really bad similes turned to something to unpleasant to mention. Or not. And because the author is getting really bored of unnecessary silence, and this chapter isn't called unnecessary silence it's called unnecessary sappiness, well... here's the sappy part. Please, get a bowl. You just might want to vomit.  
  
"You're really good at archery," Legolas said, starting the compliment ball rolling for purposes of the plot as we all know, compliments between people of the opposite sex who are secretly attracted to each other turns to utter, sickening sap.  
  
Ethriel grinned. "Really?"  
  
"Really." Legolas replied.  
  
"Well..." Ethriel began, pulling 'I'm so modest' trick. "It's just a skill. Boredom in Rivendell drove me to it. I'm not as good as you from what Dad tells me."  
  
"Well archery was useful for killing orcs on the trip to Mount Doom," Legolas admitted not pulling the 'I'm so modest' trick. And, for purposes of the plot, Ethriel's bow just "happened" to fall from her hands on to the ground. She bent to pick it up and so did Legolas only to hear a ripping sound which was the sound of... a branch (and you rabid fan girls thought it was Legolas's pants. Have shame on yourselves!!), from a tree which fell on Ethriel's head. And being mostly mortal, she was knocked unconscious, conveniently falling into Legolas's arms dramatically.  
  
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Sorry guys, that was a really dumb chapter. I'm going to regret posting this. Please don't flame me, I'm just not inspired right now. *sigh* I have a confession to make, yes I am obsessed with Legolas. Well have fun, I'm off. The next chapter's on it's way, I just have to find something to write about!! Oh well. Ideas are greatly appreciated. Oh oh!! Before I leave, my friend's writing a LOTR fanfic, if you want to read it, I'll post her screen name and the name of the story, because she's got a wicked sense of humour and I'm sure her story will be REALLY hilarious, probably even more hilarious than mine, even though that wouldn't be hard. Anyway, loads of homework, so little time. Toodles! 


	8. Ridiculous Love Scenes

Hey guys... Chocolatechocolatechocolate... I need chocolate... WHY DO I NEED CHOCOLATE?!?! Ok... Ok... I'm regaining sanity... Just a little jumpy right about now... for a tiny bit of chocolate, Hersey's kisses seem to have a huge amount of a) sugar and b) caffeine. Anyway, here's the next part in my story, have fun reading it.  
  
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Ridiculous love scenes.  
  
Legolas was beginning to praise the world for strawberry bath suds. They were magical and wonderful and awesome and... They had brought Ethriel back to consciousness! Yay! Legolas for purposes of the plot was as happy as Larry and was ready to smother the next person who walked through the door with a hug, male or female. And conveniently, for purposes of the plot, this happened to be Mirawyn. And he did smother her in a hug for the duration of about 41 seconds, to be exact until Mirawyn squealed from being squeezed too hard.  
  
"Oomph!!" Mirawyn sounded as she hit the ground after being released from Legolas's bear hug. "Why are you in such a good mood?"  
  
"Oh nothing," Legolas said in that sing-song all to innocent voice which is guaranteed to anyone listening that there is something going on. Mirawyn, being quick, caught on.  
  
"Has something happened with a certain best friend of mine called, let's see, Ethriel?" Mirawyn asked suspiciously.  
  
"You could say something happened," Legolas said the same voice which was of course making Mirawyn become ecstatically excited.  
  
"You kissed her didn't you?" Mirawyn asked, her eyes wide. Legolas looked at her sceptically.  
  
"No!" he scoffed.  
  
"And YOU expect me to believe that?!" Mirawyn exclaimed. "I heard you saved her when she got hit by a falling tree branch."  
  
"Well I had to," Legolas replied. "I am of course gallant, talented, gorgeous, good with my bow and royalty."  
  
"Did you make this up yourself?" Mirawyn wanted to know with a disgusted look.  
  
"No," Legolas lowered his voice to a whisper. "It's what the author and all those rabid fan girls said about me on the other side of that screen."  
  
"Oh," Murmured Mirawyn in understanding. "Hi author! Hi rabid fan girls!"  
  
Legolas shook his head. He often wondered if his sister was insane, this action only proved it.  
  
  
  
Ethriel opened her eyes cautiously in case the haze of silver stars was still there. It wasn't. Excellent. Hazy stars are the essence of evil, besides the orcs Frodo and her father had told her of and Legolas... but then again Legolas wasn't so evil any more. He may have saved her life.  
  
"Ethriel!" Squealed Mirawyn, the all mighty thought confirmor. "Legolas saved your life!! Isn't that romantic?"  
  
Ethriel reviewed all possible answers. There were so few. "Um... Yes." Then super conveniently for purposes of the plot and title, Legolas bounded in.  
  
"Ethriel!" He said happily. "You have awoken!" Mirawyn grinned smugly.  
  
"I'm going to leave," she teased. "You two need time alone." Ethriel felt like using her best friend as an archery target at that moment. Mirawyn made her exit, leaving our two star crossed lovers (Ok, maybe that's not quite true yet but the author just likes using emphasis) to themselves. Ethriel cursed in the way we love to bits, in every language in Middle Earth.  
  
"How many languages can you speak?" Asked Legolas in interest hearing the whole string of curses due to his heightened hearing. Ethriel, for the first time in her life, felt extreme embarrassment.  
  
"Um... Lots." Ethriel told him. "Oh Legolas... um... um..." She was suddenly also in the first time lost for words, (cue sappy music such as 'Unexpected Song' which the author is singing in music right now which has that very line *gasp*) as this is the love part of the story.  
  
"What?" Legolas, who has suddenly become clueless of Ethriel's feelings, for purposes of the plot, inquired.  
  
"Thanks for saving my life," Ethriel mumbled almost incoherently, blushing furiously, her head suddenly filled with images of Legolas half naked to emphasise any embarrassment there in the first place.  
  
"You're welcome," he replied smiling. Customary silence followed while both parties observed each other summing up their thoughts with bad similes, even worse than the ones mentioned in the last chapter. Now you all know what comes next, as this is a super predictable story. No Legolas isn't going to undress himself or Ethriel much to the disappointment of Legolas fans world wide, unfortunately, but sappy repetitive name saying is.  
  
"Legolas..."  
  
"Ethriel..."  
  
"Legolas..."  
  
"Ethriel..."  
  
Legolas leaned in to kiss her only to get Ethriel pushing him away.  
  
"I haven't got any lippy on!" she complained. She turned and got out a tube of pink lip-gloss and smoothed some on to perfect lips. Then she let Legolas kiss her, and since graphic details would not be pleasant and make most readers throw up their last meal, the author is going to talk about the decent feelings, as people should talk about their feelings and since this story is meant to be sappy we're going to add in sappy feelings, for purposes of the plot of course. Ok. Ethriel felt herself rise above the floor as fireworks flared behind her closed eyes and her nerves fizzed sending adrenaline rushes through her veins. Legolas felt pretty much the same thing and along with relief. No spending the eternal ages alone for him, or well, so he hoped anyway as this kiss, for purposes of the plot, felt really RIGHT. So, for passion purposes, the kiss went on for a good five or so minutes before breathing purposes required them to come up for oxygen or whatever substitute they have in Middle Earth. Excuse the author while she gags. Anyway moving along. After a really wonderful kiss like that, reactions must follow, very sappy ones the author might add and for them, she might have to get a bowl. She recommends you all do.  
  
"That was..." Legolas began.  
  
"Amazing!" Ethriel squeaked.  
  
"Care to give it another try?" Asked Legolas hopefully while the author hurls her last meal into the nearest available bowl. Ethriel nodded, and hence forth, another five minute long kiss. It was then that they heard an awwwwwwwww... from Aragorn, Arwen, Mirawyn and Elrond.  
  
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Tee hee hee. I'm evil. Anyway, apologies to Melanie, no you're not nuts you are ODD. To everyone out there, Melanie is not nuts but ODD. Have you got that? Good. Anyway, next chapter will be coming soon. What's going to happen? Will Legolas and Ethriel stop being sappy and will Ethriel's parents stop arranging her marriage?! Watch this space... Stay tuned... Toodles!! 


	9. More Ridiculous Love Scenes or get the A...

Hello again! Oh I thank god for stressful days... they get rid of my writer's block! So here's the ninth chapter... hey do you think I should end it fairly soon? It is getting somewhat lengthy... oh well. Sorry for the all round sappiness, but I decided that Legolas didn't deserve to be hated by everyone because he is just too gorgeous and what did HE do to the world other than being gorgeous? Anyway, now I must apologise to Courtney now as I took the idea of strawberry bath suds, that had been copy righted by her. But anyway. Disclaimer: Man, I wish I owned Legolas, sadly I don't because I'm a poor school girl and nor to I own strawberry bath suds, they are Courtney's, not mine. Although however, Mirawyn and Ethriel are from my own demented head. Now. Go and read and enjoy the story.  
  
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1 Ridiculous Love Scenes or Get The Author A Bowl  
  
  
  
Ethriel and Legolas turned to see Elrond, Aragorn, Arwen and Mirawyn who had been obviously watching their display of... affection. And, for embarrassment purposes, wished they were somewhere else, preferably a large hole in the middle of nowhere where they could live out their embarrassment. Elrond, Aragorn, Arwen and Mirawyn stood in a moment of awwww-ness until Mirawyn, in her utter dizzy blonde-ness, realised her brother would not be spending the eternal ages alone.  
  
"I'M GOING TO HAVE A SISTER!!" She shrieked in a voice that could be heard from here to Lothlorien and dived to hug her brother and Ethriel. The author has now decided Mirawyn is blonder than she is (brain wise), much to the shock of two of her friends who just happen to be reading her pathetic attempt at writing. And for purposes of the plot, Legolas's brain was to be liquefied too, by a certain emotion all readers must have identified by now.  
  
  
  
So that's how this whole silly business started out. Arwen and Aragorn began making wedding plans, which on the whole were driving Ethriel crazy. She had only had one romantic encounter with Legolas despite the fact she had seen him half naked. And now Ethriel finally had the teenage angst she had wanted but never had. Why was everyone so bent on arranging her marriage? It just made her want to cry huge melodramatic sobs, as melodramatic sobs are good. Since the world was driving her crazy, she went to seek solitude, in the form of climbing a really tall tree only to find she could not get down again. Bugger. So she decided to sit around for awhile. Oh it was so NICE having this solitude. Very nice. All she needed now was chocolate... yummy, thick, nice chocolate... some of Arwen's yummy creamy chocolate she saved for occasions when Aragorn had mental breakdowns. Chocolate was the cure to all emotional problems.  
  
"Are you alright Ethriel?" Came Legolas's gallant voice.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!" Ethriel shrieked, almost falling from her tree. "Legolas.. don't... scare... me."  
  
"Sorry," Legolas said ruefully. And for added sappiness, he pulled her into a dramatic kiss, like those thirties romance movies. The author's face turned green at this point as she edged closer to a bowl. Ethriel pushed him away.  
  
"Legolas, could you... leave me alone?" Ethriel snapped.  
  
"For good?" Legolas's blue eyes filled with tears. Awwwww, poor Leggy. Anyway. Ethriel was thinking other thoughts. This elf was irritating her because she was stressed. Very stressed.  
  
"No!" Ethriel growled. "Just until-"  
  
"Show meeeeee the shape of your heart..." Legolas finished, out of the blue singing a Backstreet Boys song which if this story was totally to the book would win Ethriel's heart before she could say 'Black and Blue'. But this story isn't THAT predictable. Oh god, a Backstreet Boys song?!?! Oh dear... Well Legolas's serenade didn't work and Ethriel who, for purposes of the plot, found a way out of the tree, and made a quick exit.  
  
  
  
"I just can't do enough for her!" Legolas complained to Gimli. "I need your unique advice." Actually, Legolas didn't need Gimli's unique advice. He only came to Gimli because he had already crossed most of his friends off his advice list because they were all concerned with marriage. The author knows he could have turned to Frodo, but for purposes of the plot, Frodo is still getting over the trauma of being dumped by Sam, can't think for himself and would you trust anyone with eyes that big? Rabid Elijah Fan girls – don't answer that. PLEASE don't answer that. Anyway, back to the story.  
  
"Ah Legolas. Ye seem to know little about females," Gimli said. "Ethriel is stressed. If ye want to please her, chocolate is the answer."  
  
"Chocolate?" Legolas asked cunningly. "Where can I get this chocolate?"  
  
"I don't know if I can trust ye," Gimli began. "Elves cannot be trusted."  
  
"Just tell me Gimli."  
  
Gimli whispered the location in Legolas's ear.  
  
  
  
Ethriel was surprised to find a huge box of chocolate near her bed.  
  
"CHOCOLATE!" She squealed. There was a note on top in beautiful script. 'To Ethriel. Someone told me you like chocolate. Legolas'. Maybe he's a really a sweet guy Ethriel thought in a moment of utter sap. Even though she was a feminist who usually couldn't be bought by much, chocolate was just too hard to resist. Because chocolate is the cure to all emotional problems/mental breakdowns/physical burn-outs etc. Yes. Chocolate is goooood. Chocolatechocolatechocolate... Moving away from all chocolate fantasies, Ethriel flopped on to the bed, hugging the box of chocolate. In true fashion of weirdness from the author's insane mind, you could say Ethriel was on the border of being in Chocoholics anonymous, a society which Arwen was secretly attending... anyway, moving away COMPLETELY from the subject of chocolate – the heavenly substance, Legolas poked his head round the door.  
  
"LEGOLAS!!" Ethriel shrieked giving Legolas a big hug, which knocked the breath from him. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou! How did you know I liked chocolate? Oh that's right... everyone knows I love chocolate... but thank you anyway!"  
  
"So I'm forgiven for scaring you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And for disturbing your solitude?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And for upsetting you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Catching you in the bath?"  
  
"Um.. yeah..."  
  
"Serenading you?"  
  
"Ha ha ha... No." Legolas looked at her sadly, resembling a puppy dog who is looking at their human owner for something to eat.  
  
"Well I guess that can't be forgiven..." Legolas said solemnly, going for the sympathy vote tactic, seeming to be a typical stance for new age guys.  
  
"I was kidding you silly @$$," Ethriel giggled. "You are forgiven for everything, as you brought me chocolate and... revived me with strawberry bath suds!"  
  
"Will you marry me then?" He asked. If this was a predictable story, Ethriel would seem phased. But since it isn't TOTALLY predictable anymore, Ethriel wasn't. Hey he brought her REALLY nice chocolate!  
  
"Of course, you got me REALLY nice chocolate," Replied Ethriel, reading the author's mind. So the only sane thing to do was to go and tell Ethriel's parents and since the author is sick of utter and complete insanity as her friends are all insane, she is going to make them do the sane thing. So Legolas and Ethriel told their parents that they were to be married.  
  
And for the second time, let the games begin...  
  
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You like? You don't like? Oh well. I may end it next time, or write a sequel, depending on where the mood takes me. I'm like that, my mood affects what I do basically. I'm so not in the mood to do my dance project, although Mr Rumble commands we do it. I'm off to do that now actually... Toodles... 


	10. Ethriel takes over

Hello!! Here's the tenth chapter!! I'm letting this be from Ethriel's point of view, my be quite interesting. DISCLAIMER: I don't own Legolas but for purposes of my life I wish I did, but Ethriel and Mirawyn are miiiiiiiine.  
  
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Ethriel takes over!!  
  
Hello. I got sick of this author, she's otherwise... occupied, so I'M going to be writing. ME ME ME. Right ok. It's my wedding day! I'm getting married to the sweetest, cutest guy in Middle Earth. Well maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration but hey, he brings me chocolate and strawberry bath suds. Chocolate is good. Very good. Strawberry bath suds are good. Very good. Anyway. This wedding dress is pretty! It brings out the highlights in my hair. What Mirawyn? Yes I know I'm going to be your sister. And I'm looking forward to it too. Awww big hug! We'll have to get you married now. What about that guy who's always asking about you? Lancelot? LANCIL. Sorry. You're only just friends. Sure, I believe you. Really I do. Not. These jewels are pretty too. Oh I've just remembered! Mirawyn, are you SURE I have something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue? I do? Great. Fetch a maid. I want to get dressed and NOW. And why is this wedding at noon? I want it to be NOW too. I'm not a patient person as you all know. Of course the AUTHOR somewhat EXAGGERATED IT. Gah... to be me sometimes... it's so hard! *sniff* Well, maybe not. After all I am a princess. Which is pretty cool. By the way where am I going to live when I'm married? And will Legolas rule Minas Tirith once Dad dies? Because we all know he's going to die SOME day, I mean he's not an elf or anything. And since those dumb rules are in place I'm not ALLOWED to rule. That's so stupid. I'm smarter than every male in Rivendell. THEY can't speak every single language from here to the Shire. I bet I'm even smarter than Legolas. Oh dear, I shouldn't have said that. Now the author is going to elaborate on this and say I have narcissm problems which will make me all the more unpopular. Oh well. Hmmm I wonder who that is at the door. Mirawyn's gone to get it. What's that Mirawyn? It's Legolas?! No tell him to go away!! It's not RIGHT for him to see me before the wedding, he's supposed to swoon when he sees me at the alter, that isn't going to come into EFFECT if he sees me now. Also the fact that we'll be doomed if he sees me now counts too. Could you tell him that Mirawyn? Please? I'm really sorry but I don't want us to be doomed. No nice chocolate and strawberry bath suds!! Speaking of my bath, the traditional wedding bath just happens to be ready  
  
  
  
Mirawyn, what's the time now? Half past eleven did you say? Excellent. Only half an hour to go. The maids are doing my hair. Ooooo this is fun. Having my hair done is awesome. Ouch stop pulling!! It hurts. I take back what I said before about having my hair done. THIS IS TORTURE. Also writing this THING for that stupid author's pleasure isn't fun either... but I'm going to continue because I'm better at this than SHE is. I don't analyse the language half to death. Oooo are you going to put those pretty head-dresses in my hair? You are? Cool!! They're REALLY pretty. They're silver. I like them. They were Grandma Celebrian's? So this is the borrowed part of my wedding outfit? No? It's the OLD part. Oh. What happened to her anyway? Oh well, I'll find out later. She sounds cool, I wish she was going to be here today. Oh and another thing, has dad shaved? I am not walking down the aisle with a man who looks like a tramp on my arm. Yes Mum I know YOU don't think he looks like a tramp, but then again you have no sanity, so you wouldn't know would you? Hang on a second. I'M insane too. Just not as insane as the rest of you. In fact compared to you I AM sane. Yay! Well, compared to Legolas I'm not sane, but then again, he's REALLY sane. Yes Mum, I know he's good for me, that's one of the reasons I'm marrying him. And the fact that I love him. Oh anyway. Pass minutes, pass. I simply can't wait. Oh my hair feels so soft... This is heaven. I want to wear these clothes every day. What's the time now Mirawyn, my maid of honour? 11:45? Excellent. We shall proceed to the chapel then. Is everyone ready? Eeeee!! I'm going to be married! La la la la la- Omph!! That's the last time I jump around with a long, irritating dress on. Ouch that ground was HARD. You don't know how HARD it was. Ow... Well, here's the chapel, it's 12 noon wish me luck...  
  
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Did you manage to stomach that? If you did, good on you. I'm sorry if that was a little silly and so not funny. I'm sitting down here after this stupid concert thing that I had to do for school... bloody flute solo, in front of a good 50 or so people watching. If that's not enough to make you nervous, how about a flute duet with over 400 people watching? Ugh... don't want to think about it... Chapter 11, coming along, hopefully. Toodles! 


	11. Epilogue/the aftermath

Hello! This is probably going to be the last chapter to my story.... =(. But if you want me to write a sequel, or another story involving Ethriel, Mirawyn or something, do say so, because I just might. Disclaimer: No I don't own Legolas or any other LOTR characters, they aren't mine, I'm too poor and strawberry bath suds belong to Courtney. Ahem. Here's chapter 11.  
  
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1 Epilogue / the aftermath  
  
  
  
As Ethriel left the keyboard to go stand at the alter with Legolas, who looked hot as hot can be and Ethriel, for purposes of the plot was having thoughts unrepeatable for those under the age of eighteen. So we aren't going to repeat them here, much to the disappointment of many people who are reading this fanfiction with seriously dirty minds. None the less, the ceremony went well with many elf maidens and elf men and just plain men quelling the desire to stop it completely for purposes of the plot. Many elf maidens ended up being brought to tears so much so that many boxes of Rivendell aloe vera tissues were wasted. 2,493 to be exact. Since you really don't want to know about elf maidens bawling their eyes out we fast forward to the after party at which all guests were getting really really drunk, not to mention stoned since the introduction of pipe weed which the author is sure it has to be the Middle Earth equivalent of marijuana. Elrond started mentioning "borrowing" Arwen's purple dress, much to Arwen's pure disgust. The bride and groom however had other ideas.  
  
"Do you want to go upstairs?" Legolas said to Ethriel smoothly.  
  
"Why of course," Ethriel replied, just as smoothly. So they did. If one entered the room at that period of time they could only see the bed going up and down... mainly because they were using it as a trampoline of course. (Well what did you think they were using it for? I'm trying to make this story a little less predictable! Oh the author knows what you're thinking... for the love of God, don't think it, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.) Rivendell beds are good for being used as trampolines. Anyway Ethriel jumped off the bed and on to the floor.  
  
"That.. was fun," She said.  
  
"Agreed," Confirmed Legolas. And for sap purposes he came out with "You look so beautiful." Much to the disgust of the author.  
  
Ethriel sighed. "I know! You do too!" Legolas grinned.  
  
"Yes, I know I'm beautiful," Legolas joked, feigning vanity. This was followed by a further embrace and 10-minute kissing session followed by more jumping on the bed WITH THEIR FEET. And not LYING on it, so the author can delete any subtext that readers with dirty minds may associate with this.  
  
  
  
Of course Ethriel and Legolas went on a honeymoon in true style. They passed through the Shire, where Ethriel met the infamous Sam, ex boyfriend of Frodo. He seemed very happy with Rosie but Ethriel was caused to wonder upon finding the porn magazines in Sam's draw with all the model's heads cut out and replaced by Frodo's. She failed to mention this to Sam, complete horror sealing her lips for days, and for embarrassment purposes, making her turn several shades of brilliant red when he walked passed. Oh the entertainment of accidental surprises. Anyway, to Ethriel's eternal relief, they only stayed in the Shire for a short while before visiting Rohan and Minas Tirith. Elessar of way too many names greeted the two with a huge feast. He of course was really happy that the two had finally married, for purposes of the plot, he didn't want to see his friend spending the eternal ages alone, for purposes of the plot (No, sorry, Aragorn is not gay with Legolas, due to popular belief of some fanfiction writers who have seriously sick minds even hinting the fact that Legolas is gay because he's not, or otherwise the female population would be severely disappointed.). They went to spend the bulk of their honeymoon in none other than Lothlorien, where Galadriel welcomed her great granddaughter and a favourite elf of hers. The time was well spent of course doing things that were productive (No not those sort of things... STOP THINKING THAT you sick minded people) like bathing in Galadriel's mirror, separately of course, which seemed to piss her off. Ethriel and Legolas couldn't work out why... but the author can. Galadriel is an irritable person, you know the whole ring thing turning her green? The honeymoon however was shorter than expected as the elves kept dropping hints of a certain sort much to the couple's discomfort. To give them strawberry bath suds of course. But it was Galadriel who, at the big huge feast she held for them remarked:  
  
"I'll enjoy having great great grandchildren,"  
  
Legolas and Ethriel face faulted before turning several shades of gorgeous red that look better in bottles of tomato sauce than on people's faces.  
  
"Um..." Ethriel began.  
  
"It'll happen sometime," Legolas finished adding under his breath "Sometime next millennia." Ethriel heard this and tried to keep herself from giggling unsuccessfully. The wonderful Lothlorien spirulina almost came out her nose. Oh well. Spirulina tasted gross anyway. Evil spirulina. After that, Legolas whisked her off to Mirkwood for purposes of the plot that have already been revealed. Ethriel immediately fell in love with it and the fact that Mirawyn came out to greet her with much smiling. Ethriel finally achieved the smileyface component of her names. She met King Thranduil of Mirkwood and noted how cool he was especially under Mirkwood disco lights. He and Legolas were fantastic break dancers. Ethriel found out that break dancing was taught to elves of Mirkwood in great hordes. She also found out that Mirkwood had fantastic DJs, much to her relief. Much better than the occasional discos Gandor of Rivendell held as Peregin Took had abused his privilege of discos while he resided in Rivendell giving Elrond a migraine. Or so Ethriel had heard. Nothing that a good old dose of pipe weed cured of course.  
  
  
  
Back to the monotonous story-line, Ethriel and Legolas began to live a happy existence in Mirkwood. Oh sure there was the occasional pestilence of elf maidens trying to stalk Legolas despite the fact he was married, but then again nothing's perfect. They went to the famous Mirkwood discos all the time. That was until the birth of their twin daughter and son Mirabel Jannield Sad face added for the effect of reverse psychology which worked by the way, Mirabel was meek, mild and innocent, just as elves should be, and Rauko Aiwenor Angry-Brow. They didn't have to send Mirabel to Rivendell... Well, very seldomly anyway, but Rauko for the decided lack of sense had to be sent there a lot, which did Elrond's head in more than Ethriel and Aragorn put together. So, our story of the Gondor Princess comes to an end. Or, is it just the beginning. And in true story style we end this with they all lived happily ever after.  
  
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Well? Whatcha think? Rauko means devil in Elvish... tee hee hee. I got that out of my new dictionary... thing... Anyway, I think that concludes it. Do you want to hear more? Tell me, because I may write a sequel. Anyway if you like this one, go read my other story. But be warned- it's a LOT more sappy but I think it still has my insane touches of humour. Better go now, I've got choir at the ungodly hour of 7:20am and I need sleep. Urgently. 


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